Commercial

 Write about something you purchased used.

Has a friend or loved one recently passed away? Is funeral planning costing too much? You want the very best, but can't quite make ends meet?

Then you need to come down to Honest Jim's Used Casket Emporium!

We have all of your corpse containment needs, from the humble cardboard box to the elaborate gilded sarcophagi.

Every night, our casket acquisition specialists go out to find new and desirable caskets for our discerning customers. After disposing of any unwanted contents, these caskets are hosed down and sprayed with our patented Casket Rejuvenation Solution to eliminate all unpleasant odors. And voila! The casket is good-as-new, and ready for display during your next funeral service, at a fraction of the cost.

Our rolling selection of caskets disappears fast, so don't delay! Call today! Simply dial 1-800-DEAD-BOX to get in touch with Honest Jim's Used Casket Emporium! Because if it's just going to be buried in a hole, it shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg.

Once again, that's Honest Jim's Used Casket Emporium!

(written 2021 February 10)